Amanda Statton: A secretly incredible wife and mother

I want you to meet my wife, Amanda. She is an incredible wife and mother. Without her, my own story wouldn’t be the same. She is the reason our family has adopted two kids with special needs from China. She is the reason we are adopting another.

Amanda a few days after we met our son.

She is not only incredible, she is a secret. For this series I typically interview the person. I didn’t ask her because she never would have agreed. She doesn’t have a Twitter account. She never checks Facebook. She doesn’t tell her own story on a blog. She has no interest in you knowing who she is or what she does.

In fact, when she sees this, I’m probably going to be in trouble. Especially after I tell you today is her birthday.

But I want you to know because she is secretly incredible. And she deserves to be celebrated.

The Conversation

I’ll never forget the day Amanda first brought up adoption.

“I think God is asking us to do something big.”

“Big? What do you mean?” I asked.

“I think we should adopt.”

“Is having four kids not big enough? Do we really need another one?” I asked.

“I know. But I feel like that we should do more,” she said.

Her question met only resistance. I didn’t even know then that “big” would eventually mean 3 more kids, not just one. I had no idea that “big” would mean a mega-van. But with time I discovered she was right.

The first step in our story was taken because of her. Fourteen months later we were in China to adopt not just one child, but two. (Two kids was her idea too.)

Seeing Something Different

This one event, this one decision, has changed so much for me.

My story was stuck in the middle of a script that too many settle for. I was just beginning a career as an orthopedic surgeon, all of the necessary training finally completed. For the first time in my life I was making more money than was needed to get by on. For the first time since college, I had free time on my hands.

Life was good and I had plans.

And, like too many, my plans were only about me. I was selfish and blind. My world was limited to what I wanted and how I felt. I was attached to possessions and comfort. I had little idea of what it meant to love.

I often write about where my the twists and turns our story have taken me. From trading in our minivan to buy a van so big that everybody stares at us, to our son having cancer.

But I have never told you the single biggest influence on me. I haven’t told you about the person that I have learned the most from.

Amanda has given up more in the last four years than anyone else I have ever known. I have said that adoption is the hardest thing I have ver done. It is harder on her than it is on me. Every day of her life she says no to herself and yes to the needs of the seven (and soon to be eight) people living in her home.

And it all started as her idea. One of the smartest things I have never done was to listen to her. To let her lead me with regards to this area of our lives.

What it Means to Be Incredible

Amanda teaches all of something important about what it means to be incredible.

Sometimes we think that the most incredible people in the world are naturally that way. They are wise and do everything perfectly. They don’t make mistakes. They don’t mess everything up. They have an endless amount of patience and never become angry. They have an endless amount of energy and never grow tired.

This simply isn’t true.

I know that others look at Amanda and wonder how she does it. They imagine that she has super powers. That she is capable of more than the average mom. That she is incredibly organized and efficient.

I will be the first to tell you that this isn’t true either. She is amazing, but she isn’t perfect. She grows tired. She gets upset.

Amanda teaches everyone of us that being secretly incredible isn’t about what you think you can do. Instead it is about what you choose to do.

Being secretly incredible isn’t really about who you are. It is about what you say yes to. (Tweet that)

It isn’t about knowing more. It is about doing more. It isn’t about having mad skills. It is about growing and learning through mistakes and failures.

Being secretly incredible isn’t about what you have, but more about what you give.

Happy Birthday, Amanda.

Who has been the greatest influence in your story?

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